Showing posts with label Social Interactions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Social Interactions. Show all posts

How 7 Simple Words Turn Resistance into Action (Part 1)

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The Science and Secrets Behind Seven Words That Motivate, Engage, and Influence, former professional magician Tim David shares the foundational secret to driving performance: "Human connection is the key to influence."

Magic Words

  • "Yes" (#1)
    • Why it works: 
      • Fulfills the fundamental human craving for acceptance and validation. 
      • It builds quick psychological rapport and immediately de-escalates workplace tension.
    • Examples:
      • Salespeople who consciously prompt customers to say "yes" to basic, minor questions before proposing a deal increase sales success rates from 18% to 32%.
      • Leaders shouldn't start a conversation with a hard "No." Rephrase strict resource limits positively: "Yes, I completely see why you need those extra tools, let's look at how we can distribute our current budget to accommodate that."
  • "But" (#2)
    • Why it works:
      • Operates as a focus director. The human brain naturally minimizes whatever is stated before the word "but" (the But Eraser) and heavily emphasizes whatever follows it.
    • Example:
      • The Bad Manager: "You did a fantastic job managing that client, but you missed the deadline." (The employee only remembers the failure)."
      • The Magic Manager: Flip the structure to end on a positive path forward: "You missed the deadline, but you did a truly fantastic job managing that client."
  • "Because" (#3)
    • Why it works:
      • Satisfies the human brain's instinctual, urgent demand for logic and causality. Giving an explicit reason triggers an automatic psychological bypass that lowers compliance resistance.
    • Example:
      • Ellen Langer’s landmark Harvard University copy machine experiment. Simply adding a redundant reason. "May I use the copier because I have to make copies?" spiked line-cutting cooperation from 60% to a massive 93%.
  • "Their Name" (#4)
    • Why it works:
      • Dale Carnegie famously noted that a person's name is the sweetest sound in any language. It breaks through cognitive noise, captures immediate attention, and makes the individual feel uniquely valued.
    • Example:
      • Great leaders explicitly use a team member's name right at the beginning of an email subject line or when opening a high-stakes 1-on-1 performance review to sharply focus focus
  • "If" (#5)
    • Why it works:
      • Moves conversations away from rigid, defensive standoffs into a risk-free, hypothetical sandbox.
      • It removes the fear of failure to unlock imagination and collaborative problem-solving.
    • Example:
      • When a stressed employee shuts down and says, "I can't finish this project by Friday," a manager pivots by asking: "If you did know a way to make it happen, what resources would we need to change right now?"
  • "Help" (#6)
    • Why it works:
      • Expresses strategic vulnerability, which instantly elevates the other person's status. 
      • It turns passive, unengaged employees into active, protective allies.
    • Example:
      • Language that triggers identity is far more effective. David references research showing that asking people to "be a helper" rather than simply asking them to "help" leads to drastically higher rates of voluntary cooperation.
  • "Thanks" (#7)
    • Why it works:
      • Serves as a measurement of meaning and a powerful form of social reinforcement. 
      • Sincere appreciation rewards great behavior and fuels long-term motivation.
    • Example:
      • Case studies on call centers and corporate teams show that employees who receive a genuine, personalized "thanks" from their supervisors immediately increase their voluntary output and overall productivity on subsequent tasks.

Key Takeaways for Leaders

  • Flip Your Feedback Loop: Avoid ruining praise with a poorly timed "but." Structure your management feedback so critiques come first, and positive actions follow the word "but."
  • Never Drop a "Why-Less" Mandate: Stop assuming your team inherently knows why a goal matters. Always use the word "because" to supply a clear reason, ensuring rapid team buy-in.
  • Pivoting Deadlocks with Hypothesized Thinking: When projects hit a wall or team members express doubt, deploy "if" questions to push past mental barriers and brainstorm solutions.
  • Build Ownership Through Vulnerability: Actively ask your staff for "help" to instantly validate their unique skills and generate authentic team accountability.

References

  • David, T. (2014). Magic Words: The Science and Secrets Behind Seven Words That Motivate, Engage, and Influence. Rodale Books.
  • Langer, E., Blank, A., & Chanowitz, B. (1978). The mindlessness of ostensibly thoughtful action: The role of "placebic" information in interpersonal interaction. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 36(6), 635–642.
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How Leaders Master the Subconscious Art of Persuasion

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  • Effective leadership hinges entirely on communication. In their tactical guide, Exactly What to Say: For Real Estate Agents, authors Phil M. Jones, Chris Smith, and Jimmy Mackin provide a foundational framework for high-stakes conversations. 
  • While written for realtors, this book functions as a universal communication field guide.
  • The Exactly What to Say: For Real Estate Agents book expands on the original book Exactly What yo Say, therefore this post will focus on the add-ons.

The Magic Phrases (1..22)

The Magic Phrases (23..31)

  • "Interesting" (#23)
    • Why it works.
      • Neutralizes emotionally charged objections or market uncertainties without agreeing or disagreeing.
    • Example.
      • "Interesting. Why... what made you think about asking that specific question?".
  • What questions do you have for me? (#24)
    • Why it works.
      • A major upgrade over asking "Do you have any questions?", which usually ends conversations awkwardly.
    • Example.
      • "We have covered a lot of ground today. What questions do you have for me regarding the reorganization?".
  • What's the best number/address...? (#25)
    • Why it works.
      • Assumes permission and moves directly to the logistics of gathering contact information.
    • Example.
      • "What's the best email address to send the updated contract framework to?".
  • Can I have your permission to...? (#26)
    • Why it works.
      • Honors the listener's authority, which makes them highly receptive to hearing tough feedback or advice.
    • Example.
      • "Can I have your permission to give you some candid feedback on how that client meeting went?".
  • Help me understand... (#27)
    • Why it works.
      • Defuses tension by replacing judgment with curiosity, preventing the other party from pulling away.
    • Example.
      • "Help me understand what bottlenecks are keeping your team from hitting the sprint targets".
  • As I understand it... (#28)
    • Why it works.
      • Confirms alignment by reflecting their words back to them, making them feel heard before you pivot.
    • Example.
      • "As I understand it, your main concern isn't the budget itself, but our team's capacity to deliver on time".
  • Would it be helpful if...? (#29)
    • Why it works.
      • Frames your solution as a supportive asset rather than an unwelcome directive or mandate.
    • Example.
      • "Would it be helpful if I assigned a senior analyst to assist with your final quarterly review?".
  • Thank you - As a prompt for reciprocity (#30)
    • Why it works.
      • True gratitude creates a momentary feeling of indebtedness, making it the perfect time to request a favor.
    • Example.
      • "Thank you for the praise. Since you value the work, could you introduce me to the VP of Operations?".
  • Otherwise (#31)
    • Why it works.
      • Clearly maps out the negative alternative, subtly encouraging them to choose your preferred path.
    • Example.
      • "We need to secure this vendor contract today; otherwise, the entire implementation will be pushed to Q3".

Key Takeaways for Leaders

  • Words are Precision Tools: Small adjustments to phrasing can completely shift a team's attitude from pushback to active problem-solving.
  • Control through Inquiry: True leadership communication relies on asking targeted questions to guide alignment.
  • Preparation Over Improvisation: High-stakes conversations require pre-mapped scripts. Thinking on your feet during a crisis invites unnecessary risk.

References

  1. Jones, P. M., Smith, C., & Mackin, J. (2019). Exactly What to Say: For Real Estate Agents. Boxertots.
  2. Business & Leadership Communications Analysis via Phil M. Jones Case Study Insights.
  3. Subconscious Persuasion Dynamics in Professional Environments: Shortform Book Analysis.
     
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23 Subconscious Triggers for High-Impact Leadership (Part 4)

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  • Most leadership failures are actually conversational design failures. Managers frequently mistake employee hesitation for insubordination, when the true culprit is the linguistic friction of how a directive was framed. 
  • This post provides a complete blueprint of Phil M. Jones’s Exactly What to Say, specifically optimized for management contexts. 
  • Understanding how to communicate using "Magic Words"—pre-programmed linguistic triggers that speak straight to the subconscious brain—is the ultimate shortcut to bypassing critical friction, accelerating team buy-in, and turning conversational "maybes" into decisive actions.

The Magic Sequences 19 - 23

  • "If I can, will you?" (#19)
    • Why it works:
      • A classic conditional close that isolates barriers and extracts commitment before resources are spent.
    • Example:
      • "If I can match that price for you, then would you be happy to place the order with me today?"
  • "Enough" (#20)
    • Why it works:
      • Influences metrics of volume or frequency by steering the listener toward a higher default value or path of least resistance.
    • Example:
      • "Would every four weeks be enough for you?"
  • "Just one more thing" (#21)
    • Why it works:
      • Creates a "Columbo moment" when the other party's guard is completely down, allowing you to float an easier downsell.
    • Example:
      • "Oh, just one more thing... Where did you buy the book?"
  • "A favor" (#22)
    • Why it works:
      • Capitalizes on structural indebtedness; asking for a favor secures an initial "yes" before details are even unveiled.
    • Example:
      • "You couldn't do me a small favor, could you?"
  • "Just out of curiosity" (#23)
    • Why it works:
      • Softens invasive, direct questions into gentle queries, using tactical silence to uncover real operational bottlenecks.
    • Example:
      • "Just out of curiosity, what is it specifically you need some time to think about"

Key Takeaways for Leaders

  • Speak to the Subconscious First: Teams respond reflexively to the emotional framing and tone of a conversation long before their rational mind computes the logical merits of a plan.
  • Control Is Maintained via Inquiry: Professional leaders drive conversations through precise, intentional questioning, rather than entering into counterarguments that create losers.
  • Practice in Low-Stakes Routines: These phrases are tools; repetition moves them from academic theory into your natural, day-to-day managerial language.

References

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23 Subconscious Triggers for High-Impact Leadership (Part 3)

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  • Most leadership failures are actually conversational design failures. Managers frequently mistake employee hesitation for insubordination, when the true culprit is the linguistic friction of how a directive was framed. 
  • This post provides a complete blueprint of Phil M. Jones’s Exactly What to Say, specifically optimized for management contexts. 
  • Understanding how to communicate using "Magic Words"—pre-programmed linguistic triggers that speak straight to the subconscious brain—is the ultimate shortcut to bypassing critical friction, accelerating team buy-in, and turning conversational "maybes" into decisive actions.

The Magic Sequences 13 - 18

  • "Don’t Worry" (13)
    • Why it works:
      • Relieves intense panic or friction when spoken calmly by a leader who demonstrates total posture and control
    • Example:
      • "Don't worry, I know you don't know what to do right now, but that's what I'm here for"
  • "Most People" (14)
    • Why it works:
      • Provides psychological safety in numbers, as individuals naturally take confidence from what others have done safely before them.
    • Example:
      • "Provides psychological safety in numbers, as individuals naturally take confidence from what others have done safely before them"
  • "The Good News" (15)
    • Why it works:
      • Uses positive labeling to effortlessly shift an adversarial or pessimistic narrative forward with forward-looking optimism.
    • Example:
      • "The good news is that we have comprehensive training you can complete at your own pace to give you all the skills you need"
  • "What happens next?" (16)
    • Why it works:
      • Eliminates follow-up limbo by cleanly mapping the immediate physical steps without asking permission.
    • Example:
      • "What happens next is that we're going to take a few moments, complete some of your personal details, and get things set up for you"
  • "What makes you say that?" (17)
    • Why it works:
      • Shifts control back to you during an objection, compelling the speaker to explain their underlying logic.
    • Example:
      • "Customer says, 'Really, I don't have all the money right now.' You say, 'What makes you say that?'"
  • "Before you make your mind up" (18)
    • Why it works:
      • Stops a moving pendulum of "no" and coaxes the listener into a softer, exploratory position of "maybe".
    • Example:
      • "Before you make your mind up, why don't we just run through the details one more time so you can know what it is that you're saying no to"

Key Takeaways for Leaders

  • Speak to the Subconscious First: Teams respond reflexively to the emotional framing and tone of a conversation long before their rational mind computes the logical merits of a plan.
  • Control Is Maintained via Inquiry: Professional leaders drive conversations through precise, intentional questioning, rather than entering into counterarguments that create losers.
  • Practice in Low-Stakes Routines: These phrases are tools; repetition moves them from academic theory into your natural, day-to-day managerial language.

References

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23 Subconscious Triggers for High-Impact Leadership (Part 2)

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  • Most leadership failures are actually conversational design failures. Managers frequently mistake employee hesitation for insubordination, when the true culprit is the linguistic friction of how a directive was framed. 
  • This post provides a complete blueprint of Phil M. Jones’s Exactly What to Say, specifically optimized for management contexts. 
  • Understanding how to communicate using "Magic Words"—pre-programmed linguistic triggers that speak straight to the subconscious brain—is the ultimate shortcut to bypassing critical friction, accelerating team buy-in, and turning conversational "maybes" into decisive actions.

The Magic Sequences 7 - 12

  • "I’m guessing you haven’t gotten around to…" (#7)
    • Why it works:
      • Disarms the listener by preemptively stating their excuse, letting them save face while pushing them toward a positive scenario.
    • Example:
      • "I'm guessing you haven't got around to looking over the documents fully yet"
  • "Simple Swaps" (#8)
    • Why it works:
      • Trades open, unguided queries for statements that assume an outcome or bypass permission-based resistance.
    • Example:
      • "What's the best number to contact you at?"
  • "You have three options" (#9)
    • Why it works:
      • Narrows choice paralysis. 
      • Placing your preferred target at the end lets you build its relative value.
    • Example:
      • "As I see it, you have three options. First, you could look for another job... Secondly, you could do absolutely nothing... Or third, you could give this a try"
  • "Two types of people" (#10)
    • Why it works:
      • Instantly forces the listener to categorize themselves into polarized, stacked choices.
    • Example:
      • "There are two types of people in this world: those who resist change in favor of nostalgia, and those who move with the times and create a better future"
  • "I bet you're a bit like me" (#11)
    • Why it works:
      • Establishes collective agreement and immediate structural alignment, building an anchor point for future alignment.
    • Example:
      • "I bet you're a bit like me. You enjoy working hard now knowing that it will pay dividends in the future"
  • "If…then" (#12)
    • Why it works:
      • Borrows deeply ingrained childhood neuropathways to set up virtually unquestionable, guaranteed outcomes.
    • Example:
      • "If you put this into your stores, then I'm certain your customers will like it."

Key Takeaways for Leaders

  • Speak to the Subconscious First: Teams respond reflexively to the emotional framing and tone of a conversation long before their rational mind computes the logical merits of a plan.
  • Control Is Maintained via Inquiry: Professional leaders drive conversations through precise, intentional questioning, rather than entering into counterarguments that create losers.
  • Practice in Low-Stakes Routines: These phrases are tools; repetition moves them from academic theory into your natural, day-to-day managerial language.

References

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23 Subconscious Triggers for High-Impact Leadership (Part 1)

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  • Most leadership failures are actually conversational design failures. Managers frequently mistake employee hesitation for insubordination, when the true culprit is the linguistic friction of how a directive was framed. 
  • This post provides a complete blueprint of Phil M. Jones’s Exactly What to Say, specifically optimized for management contexts. 
  • Understanding how to communicate using "Magic Words"—pre-programmed linguistic triggers that speak straight to the subconscious brain—is the ultimate shortcut to bypassing critical friction, accelerating team buy-in, and turning conversational "maybes" into decisive actions.

The Magic Sequences 1 - 6

  • "I’m not sure if it’s for you, but..." (#1)
    • Why it works: 
      • Bypasses the listener's internal defense systems by explicitly eliminating pressure.
      • This soft approach naturally spikes intrigue and encourages to lean forward.
    • Example: 
      • "I'm not sure if it's for you, but this project milestone optimization framework is open for adoption if you want to pilot it."
  • "How open-minded are you to/for...?" (#2)
    • Why it works: 
      • Shifts conversational odds heavily in your favor because individuals structurally pride themselves on being flexible and receptive rather than close-minded 
    • Example: 
      • ""How open-minded are you to testing an alternative shift rotation format this quarter?"
  • "What do you know about...?" (#3)
    • Why it works:
      • Softly challenges entrenched opinions or rigid assumptions by moving the speaker from absolute certainty to constructive doubt without making them lose face.
    • Example:
      • "What do you know about everything that has changed regarding our client onboarding pipeline constraints since last week?"
  • "How would you feel if...?" (#4)
    • Why it works:
      • Targets internal emotional drivers first. 
      • It forces the brain to mentally time-travel and visually experience a conditional future scenario.
    • Example:
      • "How would you feel if this process iteration led directly to your department's end-of-year promotion track?"
  • "Just imagine" (#5)
    • Why it works:
      • Bypasses analytic barriers by acting as a modern "once upon a time" narrative trigger for adults, opening up their mind's internal image viewer.
    • Example:
      • "Just imagine the look on the executive board's faces when we deliver these performance metrics ahead of the deadline"
  • "When would be a good time?" (#6)
    • Why it works:
      • Establishes an absolute assumptive frame that removes "no" as an option, fast-forwarding directly past the standard "I don't have time" objection.
    • Example:
      • "When would be a good time for us to sit down and review these cross-functional team parameters fully?"

Key Takeaways for Leaders

  • Speak to the Subconscious First: Teams respond reflexively to the emotional framing and tone of a conversation long before their rational mind computes the logical merits of a plan.
  • Control Is Maintained via Inquiry: Professional leaders drive conversations through precise, intentional questioning, rather than entering into counterarguments that create losers.
  • Practice in Low-Stakes Routines: These phrases are tools; repetition moves them from academic theory into your natural, day-to-day managerial language.

References

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How Leaders Use "The Narrative Gym" to Command Attention

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  • In The Narrative Gym, Dr. Randy Olson introduces a scientific, muscle-building approach to corporate messaging. 
  • By replacing boring "data dumps" with a lean, three-word storytelling engine, leaders can transform dry company updates into compelling directives that align teams, secure executive buy-in, and drive immediate action.

The ABT Framework

  • AND (Agreement):
    • Establishes context, baseline facts, and common ground.
  • BUT (Contradiction): 
    • Introduces the friction, pivot point, or central operational obstacle.
  • THEREFORE (Consequence): 
    • Outlines the resolution, accountability, and next action steps..

  • Instead of stating facts sequentially, this framework establishes a baseline of agreement, injects an unavoidable conflict, and logically presents the path forward.
  • It forces leaders to distill complex business hurdles into a single, cohesive problem-and-solution dynamic.

Six Examples

  • Change Management:
    • "Our new ERP system will centralize our supply chain data AND automate our weekly inventory reporting, BUT early adoption data shows that regional managers are defaulting to legacy Excel sheets out of habit, THEREFORE we are launching a mandatory, hands-on training sprint this Thursday."
  • Crisis Communication:
    • "Our primary server experienced an unexpected midday outage AND our IT team successfully restored full functionality within forty-five minutes, BUT the downtime disrupted several high-priority client transactions, THEREFORE we are issuing formal service credits along with direct executive apologies to all affected accounts today."
  • Executive Buy-In & Budgeting:
    • "Our primary competitors are aggressively adopting predictive AI tools AND market data reveals a clear shift toward automated logistics, BUT our current infrastructure cannot support these models without an enterprise cloud upgrade, THEREFORE I am requesting authorization to fund a comprehensive cloud readiness audit this quarter."
  • Product Launch:
    • "We have engineered a highly innovative software feature AND our beta testers absolutely love the streamlined user interface, BUT our current digital marketing strategy is failing to reach target enterprise buyers, THEREFORE we are shifting our launch budget toward direct Account-Based Marketing (ABM) outreach."
  • Team Restructuring:
    • "Our engineering team is exceptionally skilled AND has successfully delivered three major product iterations ahead of schedule this year, BUT the recent corporate merger has created duplicate validation workflows that slow down final deployment, THEREFORE we are restructuring into cross-functional squads to eliminate cross-department dependencies."
  • Talent Retention:
    • "Our quarterly internal survey shows that employee satisfaction remains exceptionally high AND team members feel supported by local management, BUT a lack of clear vertical mobility is causing our senior engineers to accept outside recruiting offers, THEREFORE we are building structured career-path mapping into our annual review process next month."

Key Takeaways for Managers

  • Perform an "And" Audit: Scan your upcoming slide decks and emails. If you find sections bogged down by consecutive "and, and, and" phrases, you are data-dumping.
  • Lean Into Tension: Do not hide the problem. A leader's job is to define the obstacle explicitly using a clear "but" statement to create urgency.
  • Never Leave Out the "Therefore": A problem without a consequence creates anxiety. Always anchor your narrative with a clear, action-oriented solution that points the team forward.

References

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How to Elevate your Social Status

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Beta Traps

A beta trap is a subtle but effective social ritual that puts you in a low-status position and works to keep you there.
  • The lobby - tells you to be a well-behaved person.
  • The conference room - tells you you're a jester and you'll be valued based on the quality of your entertainment. 
  • The public spaces - these are the most deadly beta traps and should be avoided. 
    • These places tell the others "I'm needy", like a puppy in a cage.
Your social value is fluid and changes with the environment you are in or the environment you create. 
  • While the global status of our social standing may remain whatever it is, our situation status can be mobilized in order to temporarily create a high-status position whenever that is needed.
    • The person is going to assign you an automatic calculation of the social value based on:
      • Your wealth.
      • Your power.
      • Your popularity.
    • From the calculation, a frame will be fixed.
    • The calculation is often unconscious.
  • If you wish to elevate your social value in any given situation you can do it by redirecting people into a domain where you are in charge - it's called local star power.

Elevating Social Status

The first thing to do when you meet a person is to establish local star power.

  • If the meeting happens on your turf:
    • Use your domain expertise and locational knowledge to take a high-status position.
  • If the meeting happens in the other person's domain (office or off-site location)
    • Arrive on time.
    • Choose a frame and force a collision at the most opportune moment.
    • Politely avoid social rituals that reinforce the status of others.
  • Look for opportunities to perpetrate small acts of denial
    • Use your local star power and redistribute some of this status to others in the room who will support your frame.
    • Don't force an error, wait for it.
      • Once the opportunity appears to say, "I need a glass of water" then disrupt the other person's frame.
  • Quickly move the discussion where you are the expert.
    • Ignore parts of the conversation that do not support your pitch.
      • Magnify the ones that do. 
    • Use Information dominance to quickly shrinks the frame around your area of specialization, making you unassailable.
      • You are the expert. 
    • Move the discussion to a level where you can't be challenged by using the primary core values.
      • Hard work, dominance expertise, and moral authority.
  • Apply Prize Frame
    • Positioning yourself as the reward by making the decision to do business with you.
      • "Remind me again why in the world I want to do business with you?, (let the person responds), Yeah, that's good. I'll keep it in mind"
    • Keep the person qualifying back to you as often as needed.
      • e.g.: "Have you ever done a deal this large?"
  • Before the other person reacts, quickly begin to pull away:
    • "Whoa, look at the time, I've got to run. Listen, guys, thanks for your attention today. If this works for you let me know it."

References

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How to use Frames for Social Interactions

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What is a Frame?

Frames are mental structures that shape how we see the world (a.k.a: point of view or perspective). In business, frames pack your power, authority, strength, information, and status.

  • Everyone uses frames.
  • Social interactions bring different frames together.
  • Frames do not coexist.
  • The stronger frames absorb weaker frames.
  • The winning frame governs social interaction.
  • Frames involve social desire.

Choosing a Frame

  • When entering a social situation, ask: "What kind of frame am I against?". 
    • Be ready to change the frame as the social interaction evolves.
  • When you are in the middle of an interaction:
    • If you're reacting to the other person, that person owns the frame.
    • If the other person reacts to what you do and says, you own the frame.

Types of Frames

  • Power Frame. Derived from the fact others give this person honor and respect.
    • How to detect it:
      • Arrogance, lack of interest, rudeness, imperial.
      • Oblivious to what others think. 
      • Poor judges of the reaction of others.
      • Willing to take unmeasurable risks.
      • Telling others what to do.
    • How to combat it:
      • Avoiding reacting to the other's frame.
      • Do nothing to strengthen the other's frame.
    • How to set it up:
      • Perpetrate a slight denial or,
      • Act out some type of defiance.
      • Play the give-and-take power frame game if needed.
        • Do not abuse when you have control.
    • Examples:
      • Place a folder on the conference table labeled "Confidential"
        • When the target reaches for the file, you grab it and say:  "Uh-uh, not yet. You have to wait for it."
      • Bring some visuals.
        • When the target sneaks a peek and then, and then when you see him curiously looking.
        • Turn it over, take it away, and say: "Not until I say you are ready."
      • Respond to a comment with a small but forceful act of defiance.
        • Person: "Thanks for coming, I only have 15 mins..."
        • You: "That's okay, I only have 12, but you are serious too."
      • Be defiant and funny at the same time.
  • Analyst Frame. 
    • Disrupted by Intrigue Frame. 
  • Intrigue Frame. 
    • How to detect it's needed:
      • When somebody asks for details.
      • When communication is not flowing back and forth (nonreactive state).
        • The person shows disinterest or shows mind wandering. 
        • The person thinks they can predict your idea before you explain it.
      • When extreme and nearly total loss of alertness. 
        • Lost of mutual connection.
    • How to set it up:
      • Respond with a "Summary of Data" you prepared for this specific purpose.
        • Redirect the attention back to your pitch.
      • Tell an Intrigue Story, a brief but relevant story that involves you:
        • It's a personal story that you have prepared in advance.
        • You are in the story's center to redirect the attention back to you.
        • There has to be some suspense, risk, danger, and uncertainty.
        • There should be time pressure.
          • Clock ticking
          • There are ominous consequences if action is taken slowly.
        • You are trying to do something but are being blocked by some force.
        • There should be serious consequences, failure won't be pretty.
    • Disrupts the Analyst Frame.
    • Examples:
      • In financial deals: "The revenue is X, the expense is Y, this and other factors you can verify later but right now what we have to focus is on this: are we a good fit? Should we be doing business together?"
      • When the audience's attention begins to shift to analytical questions:
        • Tell your Intrigue Story.
          • "This reminds me..."
  • Time Frame. This often happens when attention is beyond the human span.
    • How to detect it:
      • You see attention being to wane.
      • People become fatigued.
      • You have been pitched for a few minutes.
    • How to combat it:
      • When attention is bottom out and expires, that's it.
    • Hot to set it up:
      • Stay in control of the time and wrapping up.
        • Do not try to speed up to go through the rest of the pitch.
    • Examples:
      • During a meeting:
        • "Hey, it looks like time us up. I've got to wrap this up and get to my next meeting."
        • If they are interested, they will agree to a follow-up.
      • Rush to meet with you:
        • Person: "Hi, I only have about 10 minutes to meet with you..."
        • You: "No, I don't work like that, there isn't sense in rescheduling unless we like each other and trust each other. I need to know, if are you good to work with?, can you keep appointments? and stick to a schedule."
  • Prize Frame. Tells people "You are trying to win my attention, I am the prize, not you. I can find some others like you but there is only one me."
    • How to detect it:
      • Missing appointments, the person arriving late, delaying to start.
    • How to combat it:
      • Ask the others to get organized.
        • "So you guys are asking me to delay the start? Okay, I can give you 15 mins to get organized, but if we can't start by, let us just call it a day."
      • If the person doesn't show up:
        • Do not deliver your presentation or any other material.
        • Do not apologize.
      • Make the person qualify himself to you.
        • "Can you tell me about yourself? I am picky about who I'm working with."
      • Make the person perform a legitimate task to earn a deal. 
      • Take the time to step back and withdraw.
        • Don't be needy.
      • Embrace the idea that money is a commodity.
    • How to set it up:
      • Place the frame by telling them at the beginning of the meeting.
        • "I'm glad I could find the time to meet you today. I do have a meeting right after this. Let's get started."
  • Moral Authority Frame. Tells people: "We are right, you are wrong."
    • How to detect it:
      • The others do not have the moral or rightness to act as they do.
    • How to set it up:
      • Be prepared with an agenda to make things, with an actionable step-by-step involving acknowledgment by you of each of the actions that you ask them to do.
      • Tell them why you are right and they are wrong.
        • "You have done/not done X, Y, and this is/not is what agree/it isn't right, and you know that...(immediately lay out your agenda)."
      • Tell them your agenda:
        • "This is what will happen, 1)... 2)... 3)..."
      • Tell them as they speak:
        • "Your lips are moving, but I am not listening to a single word, your words have no meaning. Stop talking start...."
      • Tell them what you are going to do:
        • "You know what, I've had enough of this. Get out of here now, I'm going to call the cops..."
      • Tell them what will happen to them.
        • "Let me paint a picture for you: (describe personal consequences to them, their assets, or relatives). Is that how you want to end today?. The other option is to start..."
      • Tell them how you will check progress,
        • "(call their name), every 15 minutes you are going to give me a deliverable that means - just so you understand me perfectly- something happens that benefits me. Cancel your schedule, do not leave this room, pick up the phone and start..."
      • Commit to your frame and keep it strong (plowing).

References

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