When somebody says: "I’m feeling rejected", in nonviolent communication you might empathically translate this as: "Are you feeling scared because you would really like to be included?". These words imply that someone is doing something to you and generally connote wrongness or blame - Narrative Pathways.com
Jackal Word to Giraffe Feeling(s), and Need(s)
- Abandoned: Terrified, hurt, bewildered, sad, frightened, lonely.
- Need for: Nurturing, connection, belonging, support, caring.
- Abused: Angry, frustrated, frightened.
- Need for: Caring, nurturing, support, emotional or physical well-being, consideration, need for all living things to flourish
- [Not] Accepted: Scared, lonely, hurt, anxious.
- Need for: Inclusion, connection, community, belonging, contribution, peer respect.
- Attacked: Scared, angry, defiant, hostile.
- Need for: Safety, consideration.
- Belittled: Angry, frustrated, tense, distressed.
- Need for: Respect, autonomy, to be seen, acknowledgment, appreciation.
- Betrayed: Angry, hurt, disappointed, enraged.
- Need for: Trust, dependability, honesty, honor, commitment, clarity.
- Blamed: Angry, scared, confused, antagonistic, hostile, bewildered, hurt.
- Need for: Accountability, causality, fairness, and justice.
- Bullied: Angry, scared, pressured Autonomy, choice, safety, consideration.
- Caged/Boxed-in: Angry, thwarted, scared, anxious.
- Need for: Autonomy, choice, freedom.
- Cheated: Resentful, hurt, angry.
- Need for: Honesty, fairness, justice, trust, reliability.
- Coerced: Angry, frustrated, frightened, thwarted, scared.
- Need for: Choice, autonomy, freedom, act freely, choose freely.
- Cornered: Angry, scared, anxious, thwarted.
- Need for: Autonomy, freedom.
- Criticized: In pain, scared, anxious, frustrated, humiliated, angry, embarrassed.
- Need for: Understanding, acknowledgment, recognition, accountability, and respectful communication.
- Discounted/Diminished: Hurt, angry, embarrassed, frustrated.
- Need to matter, acknowledgment, inclusion, friendship, inclusion.
- Disliked*. Sad, lonely, hurt.
- Need for: Connection, appreciation, understanding, acknowledgment, friendship, inclusion
- Distrust. Sad, frustrated.
- Need for: Trust, honesty.
- Dumped on. Angry, overwhelmed.
- Need for: Respect, consideration.
- Harassed. Angry, frustrated, pressured, frightened.
- Need for: Respect, space, consideration, peace.
- Hassled. Irritated, distressed, angry, frustrated.
- Need for: Serenity, autonomy, to do things at my own pace in my own calm way, calm, space.
- Ignored. Lonely, scared, hurt, sad, embarrassed.
- Need for: Connection, belonging, inclusion, community, participation.
- Insulted. Angry, embarrassed.
- Respect, consideration, acknowledgment.
- Interrupted. Angry, frustrated, resentful, hurt.
- Need for: Respect, to be heard, consideration.
- Intimidated. Scared, anxious.
- Need for: Safety, equality, empowerment.
- Invalidated. Angry, hurt, resentful.
- Need for: Appreciation, respect, acknowledgment, recognition.
- Invisible. Sad, angry, lonely, scared.
- Need for: To be seen and heard, included, belong, community.
- Isolated. Lonely, afraid, scared.
- Community, inclusion, belonging, contribution.
- Left out. Sad, lonely, anxious.
- Need for: Inclusion, belonging, community, connection.
- Let down. Sad, disappointed, frightened.
- Need for: Consistency, trust, dependability.
- Manipulated. Angry, scared, powerless, thwarted, frustrated.
- Need for: Autonomy, empowerment, trust, equality, freedom, free choice, connection, genuineness.
- Mistrusted. Sad, angry.
- Need for: Trust.
- Misunderstood. Upset, angry, frustrated.
- To be heard, understood, clarity.
- Neglected: Lonely, scared.
- Need for: Connection, inclusion, participation, community, to be cared for, matter, consideration.
- Overpowered. Angry, impotent, helpless, confused.
- Need for: Equality, justice, autonomy, freedom.
- Overworked. Angry, tired, frustrated.
- Need for: Respect, consideration, rest, caring.
- Patronized. Angry, frustrated, resentful.
- Need for: Recognition, equality, respect, mutuality.
- Pressured: Anxious, resentful, overwhelmed.
- Need for: Relaxation, clarity, space, consideration.
- Provoked. Angry, frustrated hostile, antagonistic, resentful.
- Need for: Respect, consideration.
- Put down. Angry, sad, embarrassed.
- Need for: Respect, acknowledgment, and understanding.
- Rejected. Hurt, scared, angry, and defiant.
- Belonging, inclusion, closeness, being seen, acknowledgment, and connection.
- Ripped off/Screwed. Anger, resentment, disappointment.
- Need for: Consideration, justice, acknowledgment, trust.
- Smothered/suffocated: Frustrated, desperate, fearful.
- Need for: Space, freedom, autonomy, authenticity, self-expression.
- Taken for granted. Sad, angry, hurt, disappointed.
- Need for: Appreciation, acknowledgment, recognition, consideration.
- Threatened. Scared, frightened, alarmed, agitated, defiant.
- Need for: Safety, autonomy.
- Trampled. Angry, frustrated, overwhelmed.
- Need for: Empowerment, connection, community, being seen, consideration, equality, respect, acknowledgment.
- Tricked. Embarrassed, angry, resentful.
- Need for: Integrity, trust, honesty.
- Unappreciated. Sad, angry, hurt, frustrated.
- Need for: Appreciation, respect, acknowledgment, consideration.
- Unheard. Sad, hostile, frustrated.
- Need for: Love, appreciation, empathy, connection, community.
- Unloved*. Sad, bewildered, frustrated.
- Need for: Love, appreciation, empathy, connection, community.
- Unseen. Sad, anxious, frustrated.
- Need for: Acknowledgment, appreciation, being heard.
- Unsupported. Sad, hurt, resentful.
- Need for: Support, understanding.
- Unwanted. Sad, anxious, frustrated.
- Need for: Belonging, inclusion, caring.
- Used. Sad, angry, resentful.
- Need for: Autonomy, equality, consideration, and mutuality.
- Victimized. Frightened, helpless.
- Need for: Empowerment, mutuality, safety, justice.
- Violated*. Sad, agitated, anxious.
- Need for: Privacy, safety, trust, space, respect.
- Wronged*. Angry, hurt, resentful, irritated.
- Need for: Respect, justice, trust, safety, fairness.
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