The 3PSTM Model

Written by I. Rosas on November 06, 2021 in Presentation Framework with No comments

1. Plan

What is your PURPOSE?

What is the reason you are presenting this information and what is your desired outcome?
Consider what you want your audience to DO, KNOW, and FEEL following your presentation.

Who is your audience?

What matters most to them and what questions will they have?
Consider any preconceptions they might have toward you or your topic.

2. Prepare

Brainstorm (independently or with others).
With your audience and purpose clearly in mind, examine your topic and ask yourself the question, "What belongs in this presentation?"
Record your thoughts and then organize them into the 2-3 MAIN MESSAGES that will comprise your presentation.

3. Package

Strong Opening (15%)

Establish your credibility (holistic and topic-specific)

"Good morning! My name is ... I’m a ... here at X and I’ve worked for Y years on the Z we’ll be discussing"

Explain your PURPOSE (your topic)

"I'm here to convince you that Z is the best ..."

Explain your PROCESS (your agenda)

"There are 3 main reasons why Z is right for you. First A is the simplest... Second, each B... Third, C comes with..."

Describe the PAYOFF (why the audience should listen).

"I'm confident I can answer all your questions, and that you’ll be very excited when you see the value, reliability, and security you can now bring to your..."

Body (75%)

Take your audience on a journey through your topic.
POINT 1...3. Provide strong SUPPORT for your MAIN POINTS

Opening. "Let’s begin by taking a look at A / The second thing B / Last look at C"
Support (statistics, explanations, examples, comparisons, and expert opinions or
Illustrate (stories, anecdotes, shocking facts, humor, and strong visuals).
Closing. "And that's A, the first thing you’ll be excited to share with ...!"

Strong Close (10%)

Review your MAIN POINTS.

"There you have it! The three main reasons Z is the best option for you are A, B & C"

Restate your PURPOSE.

"I encourage you to... for Z, and I urge you to ..., while ..."

Close with POWER.

"Remember our motto/purpose/mission at X..."

Staying on Track.

Decide in advance when to take questions.
Listen attentively – let them finish.
Thank them, then repeat the question.
Answer the question, and then support your answer.
If you don’t know the answer, be honest.
Never let a question close your presentation.

Handling Questions.

Decide in advance when to take questions.
Listen attentively – let them finish.
Thank them, then repeat the question.
Answer the question, and then support your answer.
If you don’t know the answer, be honest.
Never let a question close your presentation.

Involve your Audience to Engage your Audience.

Open-ended questions.
Chat – whole group or 1:1.
Interactive whiteboard – flipchart suggestions or brainstorming ideas.
Polling – test understanding or conduct anonymous surveys.
Share screens.

References

Connect & Deliver - Meeting and Messages by Dynamic Solutions.

The Prime/OS Method

Written by I. Rosas on September 18, 2021 in Change Management, OpenSpace Technology, Scaled Agile Framework, Social Technology with No comments

Prime/OS defines a repeatable technique for introducing change into your organization. It is based on the power of invitation and the ability of teams, departments and organizations to achieve high performance quickly when they are engaged in helping to create the process.

Prime/OS is a methodology. It can be used to introduce any kind of procedural or cultural change. It works with what you are currently doing, and can be added at any time. A hypothesis of Prime/OS is that increases in engagement drive increases in productivity, after a brief delay. The purpose of Prime/OS is to increase levels of engagement on the part of everyone involved.

The core concept of Prime/OS is the rite of passage or "passage rite". A passage rite is a cultural event (and a kind of social game) that helps people who have membership make sense of complex social transitions. Agile adoptions are complex social transitions.

Prime/OS Core Elements

Prime/OS Phase 1: Introduction. Experiencing engagement via opt-in participation and OpenSpace.

Opening Consulting with the Leadership by Consultant.
Game Mechanics: Goal, Rules, Scoring, Opt-in.
Invitation as Primary Opt-in mechanism.
OST-1 (initial OpenSpace meeting):

Minimum of 1 day of OpenSpace (2 is preferred).
Minimum of 90 days of experiments playing with practice, between the scheduled OpenSpace events.
Output is learning and some deliveries.
Leadership signaling with Storytelling (and other highly symbolic behaviors).

OST-2 (second OpenSpace meeting, which terminates "Chapter 1" of the process change and opens "Chapter 2" of the organizational "story" of the change.)

Follow-up. Closing consulting with Leadership.

Processing the proceedings.
Leadership signaling with storytelling (and other highly symbolic behaviors.)
The Coaching consultant delivers on what to possibly consider next.
The coaching consultant vacates the org and does not communicate with it for at least 1 month, to trigger self-sustaining self-organization behaviors on the part of the org.

Prime/OS Phase 2: Competence. Recurring OST events.

Minimum 1 year.
Evidence must be present first that the org has processed and completed Phase 1.

Several "Chapters" of learning, bound by 2 OpenSpace.

Repeat Prime/OS's OpenSpace events approximately every 6 months, typically in January and June until the org reaches Phase 3.

Prime/OS Phase 3: Mastery. No more scheduled events, due to a maturing of the org.

Instead of scheduling OpenSpace events in a fixed schedule, the org senses and response t the need for periodic, "as-needed" OpenSpace events.
Evidence must be present first, that the org has reached Phase 2.

The scheduled OpenSpace events become less interesting.
The org can consistently demonstrate "safe space".

The org has made substantial changes to the HR policies with the intent to support Prime/OS Phase 3 culture.
The org is hiring and firing based on cultural fit.

The org has established norms for dealing with the ongoing conflict which is a natural consequence of independent thinkers working together in a volatile, high-change business environment.

References

The OpenSpace Beta Method

Written by I. Rosas on September 18, 2021 in OpenSpace Technology, Scaled Agile Framework, Social Technology with No comments

What is OpenSpace Beta?

OpenSpace Beta is the way for your organization to become high-performing. Not within years, but within a few months. Regardless of size. It's an open-source social technology that allows your company to get from siloed and dull to decentralized and adaptive. Within 90 days.

References

The Sociocracy 3.0 Model

Written by I. Rosas on September 11, 2021 in Coming Soon, Social Technology, Sociocracy with No comments

Sociocracy 3.0 (S3) is social technology for evolving agile and resilient organizations of any size, from small start-ups to large international organizations.

Using S3 can help you to achieve your objectives and successfully navigate complexity. You can make changes one step at a time, without the need for sudden radical reorganization or planning a long-term change initiative.

References

Sociocracy 3.0 | Effective Collaboration At Any Scale (sociocracy30.org)

The Sociocracy Framework

Written by I. Rosas on September 04, 2021 in Coming Soon, Organizational System, Social Technology, Sociocracy with No comments

References

Learn and Share Sociocracy with the World - Sociocracy For All

The OpenSpace Agility Method

Written by I. Rosas on August 28, 2021 in OpenSpace Technology, Scaled Agile Framework, Social Technology with No comments

What is OpenSpace Agility (OSA)?

OpenSpace Agility (OSA) is a repeatable technique for getting rapid and lasting Agile adoption. It works with what you are currently doing, and can be added at any time.

In OSA, executive leaders are very much in charge of the process. When using OSA, leaders clearly communicate two key aspects:

An overall Agile direction.
A very clear set of guardrails or limits or rules for everyone involved: the developers, teams, and stakeholders.

By focusing on employee engagement, as a leader you can expect the following outcomes:

A dramatic reduction in the coaching & training costs of your Agile program
A rapid, genuine, and lasting Agile transformation
Much higher employee engagement scores
Predictable, reliable, repeatable improvement in overall results
Increases in stakeholder satisfaction and potentially, stakeholder delight

Each OpenSpace Agility cycle has just 5 basic and repeatable steps.

These steps are repeated in an iterative fashion.
OpenSpace Agility actually embodies the Agile principles of iteration, experimentation, frequent inspection, and improvement. OSA implements Agile in a very Agile way.
Any Agile framework is acceptable for use with OSA.
You can think of OSA as a process for introducing that framework.

Step 1: Leadership and Enterprise Preparation

Leaders Define Clear Direction.

Leaders explain "the why" of the Agile direction, by citing the business opportunities, the business challenges, and the need for continuous improvement.

Leaders Define Clear Guardrails and Rules.

Define and describe some very clear boundaries and guardrails.
These guardrails are the 12 principles of the Agile Manifesto.
Practices that align with these 12 principles are acceptable for teams to use.

Collection of Starting Key Performance Indicators (KPIs).

OpenSpace Agility uses evidence-based metrics.
Before working in an Agile way, a baseline set of measures is taken.
These measures serve as both a diagnostic, to surface issues, and as a metric, for a subsequent before-and-after compare.

Training In Agile Fundamentals.

Teaching in Agile principles and practices is offered to everyone.
All stakeholders and team members are encouraged to attend.

No Mandate of Specific Practices.

Leaders offer opportunities for teams to choose from a range of Agile practice options within a well-defined container.
Several very specific measuring instruments are utilized during this preparation step.

Step 2: Initiate the process using an all-hands "OpenSpace" meeting

The first OpenSpace meeting:

This is a facilitated all-hands meeting of at least one day that is authorized by executive leadership.
The executives lead the way. This is the formal kick-off of your Agile journey. It sets the stage for the org-wide learning, engagement, and improved results that follow.

Step 3: Initiate Agile practices across the enterprise

Teams are authorized to use practices that align with the Agile Manifesto.
The outputs from this step include:

More predictable and reliable software deliveries
Enormous levels of Agile learning… up, down, and across the organization.
Dramatically higher levels of employee engagement
The collection-specific metrics to measure results, and inform the next steps

Step 4: Complete the process in OpenSpace

The Second OpenSpace meeting.

It is both a retrospective and a prospective one.
The organization looks back, and forward (making actionable plans).
As a result of this process, you can expect:

Your process to tangibly mature and improve.
You can expect your entire organization to engage in the difficult business of customizing and tailoring the Agile process to your context, in service to continuous improvement.

Step 5: Inspect Results and Adapt

When this step is reached, the multi-team iteration (or "chapter of learning") is complete.
The results are inspected. Executives encourage engagement in the process of continuous improvement.
Adjustments are made and the next cycle of 45 to 100 days is planned.

References

The Holacracy System

Written by I. Rosas on August 21, 2021 in Coming Soon, Holacracy, Organizational System with No comments

Reference

Holacracy Home

Coaching with FOTO

Written by I. Rosas on August 14, 2021 in Clean Language, Coaching with No comments

What is FOTO?

FOTO stands for "From Obstacles to Outcomes", and the game's objective is to generate as many outcomes as you can in the allotted time – 15 minutes for a table group working together in the Lite edition, or 3-4 minutes per rotation (plus some changeover time) through the Classic edition’s roles of client, coach, and host.

As well as an objective, 15-minute FOTO has rules, two of them – it is a game after all! They make it a generative process:

You can only ask questions from the card
For the X's in many of the questions, you must use previous answers or fragments thereof, verbatim

There are no wrong answers, but the intent of the questioning should be to elicit outcomes in a spirit of curiosity, not to fish for solutions (suggesting solutions isn’t possible within the rules). In view of the game’s objective, questioners – 'coaches' – are advised not to waste time digging into obstacles; however, some quick clarification may be helpful.

References

Introduction to Clean Language Questions

Written by I. Rosas on August 07, 2021 in Clean Language, Coaching with No comments

The Clean Language questions were developed by counseling psychologist David Grove, who instead of giving advice, went by his client’s choice of words rather than paraphrasing and devised questions that contained as few assumptions and metaphors as possible.

Clean Language is a new way of thinking about the way people think, with profound implications and powerful effects. As a general principle, Clean Language questions are about the positive stuff in the speaker’s landscape – the resources they have, and the outcomes they desire.

Developing Questions

Encourage the person to be more specific, to become clear about what's true for them.

Elaborate. These are the two most common Clean Language questions. Invite the person to elaborate on their experience, to find out more about it. It is recommended to ask these questions predominantly on the positive aspects of the person's experience.

"(And) what kind of X is that X?"
"(And) is there anything else about X ?"

Name and address. Encourage a person to elaborate on the thing they have mentioned to give more details. Clarify what the person is thinking about and where it is. Useful to explore emotions.

"(And) where is X?"
"(And) whereabouts it X?"

Asking for a metaphor. Once you have identified some symbols and locations, ask:

"(And) that X is like what?"

Relationship questions. Once you have two symbols, you can find out if, and how, they relate to each other.

"(And) is there a relationship between X and Y?"
"(And) when X, what happens to Y?"

Sequence Questions

Help a person to decide where an event starts and where it finishes. These questions help the speaker fill in the information that they may not have realized was missing.

"(And) then what happens?"
"(And) what happens next?"
"(And) what happens just before X?"

Source Questions

This is one of the least-used Clean Language questions and it generates several kinds of sources of information - any of which you can ask further questions.

"(And) where could X come from?"

Intention Questions

Finding out more about the desired outcomes, thinking in positive terms, and have focused on the goal.

"(And) what would you like to have [to] happen?"

Necessary Condition Questions

These questions explore causality and possible obstacles. It is usual to ask layers of these questions, first finding out all, or most of the conditions that need to be in place for the desired outcome to be achieved and then checking if each of the conditions can be met.

"(And) what needs to happen for X?"
"(And) can X happen?"

Questions that utilize other verbs

"How do you know X?"
"Does … have a size or a shape?"
"What determines … ?"
"Where does / could … come from?"
"Can … ?"

The Syntax

You may be wondering what has happened to the ‘and’ I mentioned before. That comes in when you combine one of these questions with the client’s words.

A clean question has three functions:

To acknowledge what the client has said.
To direct their attention to one aspect of their experience.
To send them on a quest for self-knowledge.

So if I client says, “I would like to be more healthy.”

"And you would like to be more healthy" (acknowledge)
"And when more healthy," (direct attention)
"Is there anything else about that?" (quest for self-knowledge)

References

The Failure Mode and Effects Analysis (FMEA)

Written by I. Rosas on July 24, 2021 in Problem-Solving with No comments

What is an FMEA?

Also called: potential failure modes and effects analysis; failure modes, effects, and criticality analysis (FMECA)

"Failure modes" means the ways, or modes, in which something might fail. Failures are any errors or defects, especially ones that affect the customer and can be potential or actual.
"Effects analysis" refers to studying the consequences of those failures.

When to Use FMEA?

When a process, product, or service is being designed or redesigned, after deployment.
When an existing process, product, or service is being applied in a new way.
Before developing control plans for a new or modified process.
When improvement goals are planned for an existing process, product, or service.
When analyzing failures of an existing process, product, or service.
Periodically throughout the life of the process, product, or service.

Process

Assemble a cross-functional team of people with diverse knowledge about the process, product or service, and customer needs.
Identify the scope of the FMEA.

"Is it for the concept, system, design, process, or service?"
"What are the boundaries?"
"How detailed should we be?"
Use flowcharts to identify the scope and to make sure everybody understands it in detail.
Fill in the identifying information at the top of your FMEA form.

The remaining steps ask for information that will go into the columns of the form.
Identify the functions of your scope. Ask:

"What is the purpose of this system, design, process, or service?"
"What do our customers expect it to do?"
Name it with a verb followed by a noun. Usually, one will break the scope into separate subsystems, items, parts, assemblies, or process steps and identify the function of each.

For each function, identify all the ways failure could happen.

These are potential failure modes. If necessary, go back and rewrite the function with more detail to be sure the failure modes show a loss of that function.

For each failure mode, identify all the consequences on the system, related systems, process, related processes, product, service, customer, or regulations.

These are potential effects of failure. Ask,
"What does the customer experience because of this failure?"
"What happens when this failure occurs?"

Determine how serious each effect is.

This is the severity rating or S. Severity is usually rated on a scale from 1 to 10, where 1 is insignificant and 10 is catastrophic.
If a failure mode has more than one effect, write on the FMEA table only the highest severity rating for that failure mode.

For each failure mode, determine all the potential root causes.

Use tools classified as cause analysis tools, as well as the best knowledge and experience of the team.
List all possible causes for each failure mode on the FMEA form.

For each cause, determine the occurrence rating, or O.

This rating estimates the probability of failure occurring for that reason during the lifetime of your scope.
Occurrence is usually rated on a scale from 1 to 10, where 1 is extremely unlikely and 10 is inevitable.
On the FMEA table, list the occurrence rating for each cause.

For each cause, identify current process controls.

These are tests, procedures, or mechanisms that you now have in place to keep failures from reaching the customer.
These controls might prevent the cause from happening, reduce the likelihood that it will happen, or detect failure after the cause has already happened but before the customer is affected.

For each control, determine the detection rating, or D.

This rating estimates how well the controls can detect either the cause or its failure mode after they have happened but before the customer is affected.
Detection is usually rated on a scale from 1 to 10, where 1 means the control is absolutely certain to detect the problem and 10 means the control is certain not to detect the problem (or no control exists).
On the FMEA table, list the detection rating for each cause.

Optional for most industries: Ask

"Is this failure mode associated with a critical characteristic?" (Critical characteristics are measurements or indicators that reflect safety or compliance with government regulations and need special controls.)
If so, a column labeled "Classification" receives a Y or N to show whether special controls are needed. Usually, critical characteristics have a severity of 9 or 10 and occurrence and detection ratings above 3.

Calculate the risk priority number, or RPN, which equals S × O × D.

Also calculate Criticality by multiplying severity by occurrence, S × O.
These numbers provide guidance for ranking potential failures in the order they should be addressed.

Identify recommended actions.

These actions may be design or process changes to lower severity or occurrence.
They may be additional controls to improve detection.
Note who is responsible for the actions and target completion dates.

As actions are completed, note the results and the date on the FMEA form.

Note new S, O, or D ratings and new RPNs.

Notes

This is a general procedure.
Specific details may vary with the standards of your organization or industry.
Before undertaking an FMEA process, learn more about standards and specific methods in your organization and industry through other references and training.

References

What is FMEA? Failure Mode & Effects Analysis | ASQ

The 5 Whys Method

Written by I. Rosas on July 17, 2021 in Problem-Solving with No comments

The 5 Whys technique is a simple and effective tool for solving problems. Its primary goal is to find the exact reason that causes a given problem by asking a sequence of "Why" questions.

Step by Step

Form a team.

Try to assemble a team of people from different departments. Each representative has to be familiar with the process that is going to be investigated.
Be aware that this is not an individual task, and it needs to be executed by the team.

Define the problem.

Discuss the problem with the team and make a clear problem statement.
It will help you define the scope of the issue you are going to investigate.

Ask Why.

Empower one person to facilitate the whole process. This team leader will ask questions and try to keep the team focused.
The answers should be based on facts and real data, rather than on emotional opinions.
The facilitator should ask "Why" as many times as needed until the team can identify the root cause of the initial problem.

Take Action.

After the team detects the root cause(s), it is time to take corrective actions. All members should be involved in a discussion to find and apply the best solution that will protect your process from recurring problems.
When the decision is made, one of the team members should be responsible for applying the right actions and observing the whole process.
After a certain period of time, the team needs to meet again and check if their actions actually had a positive impact. If not, the process should be repeated.
In the end, the case should be documented and sent across the organization.

Hints

Don’t ask too many Whys. If you keep going, you may end up receiving tons of unreasonable suggestions and complaints, which is not the purpose. Focus on finding the root cause.
Sometimes there could be more than one root cause.

In these cases, the 5 Whys analysis will look more like a matrix with different branches.
This may even help you detect and eliminate organizational issues that have permanent negative effects on overall performance.

Covered Scenarios

Root cause analysis.

References

5 Whys: The Ultimate Root Cause Analysis Tool

The Problem-Reframing Method

Written by I. Rosas on July 10, 2021 in Problem-Solving with No comments

"As Peter Drucker pointed out, there’s nothing more dangerous than the right answer to the wrong question. There is a way to do better. The key is reframing, a crucial, underutilized skill that you can master with the help of the book "What's Your Problem?..." - Amazon.com

Frame the Problem

What is the problem we are trying to solve?
Don’t accept the problem statement at face value. Ask:

Is the statement true?
Are there self-imposed limitations?
Is a solution "baked into" the problem framing?
Is the problem clear?
With whom is the problem located?
Are there strong emotions?
Are there false trade-offs?

Look Outside the Frame

What are we missing?
Avoid delving into the details of the issue you face. Zoom out. Ask:

What's missing from the current problem statement?
Are there elements we're not considering?
Is there anything outside the frame that we're not currently paying attention to?
Look beyond your own expertise, and hidden influences, and consider causal events prior to the situation.

Rethink the Goal

Is there a better objective to pursue?
As we focus on the problem and how to solve it, it “prevents us from questioning a more important thing: the goal we’re trying to reach.”

Examine Bright Spots

Where is the problem not?
"Look for situations or places where the problem is not as bad, or where it may even be entirely absent. Paying attention to such positive exceptions can give you a new perspective on the problem, and may even point you directly to a viable solution."

Look in the Mirror

What is my/our role in creating this problem?
"Even if you don’t contribute to the problem, ask whether you can react differently to it.”

Take Their Perspective

What is their problem?
"Discovering how others see the world—and in particular, how they see it differently from you—is perhaps the most fundamental form of reframing there is."
Try to disregard your own preferences. Focus only on how they might feel and think.

Move Forward

How can I validate my/our framing of the problem through real-world testing?
After you have reframed the problem, test it out to see if you are, in fact, targeting the right problem. You may have a number of reframed problems at the end of this process. In that case, narrow them down by looking for surprising, simple, r significant-if-true framings.

The Seven Practices for Effective Reframing

Establish legitimacy – It is difficult to use reframing if you are the only person in the room who understands the method. Show them this article, or relate the slow elevator problem and solution.
Bring outsiders into the discussion – This is the single most helpful reframe practice. Search for people who understand but are not entirely in your world, and who can speak freely. Don’t expect solutions, but instead, input.
Get people’s definitions in writing – People commonly leave a meeting believing they all agree with something just to find out months later that they actually had different views. Writing it down can help define differences and look contrarily at the problem
Ask what’s missing – When facing a problem description, we tend to go deep into the details of what has been stated, perhaps overlooking what has been missed.
Consider multiple categories – Transforming people’s perception of the problem can bring powerful changes. One method is inviting people to specify which category of the problem they are facing. Is it a motivation problem? A quality problem? An attitude problem? Then try to suggest more categories.
Analyze positive exceptions – You can look for new insights and try to find instances when the problem did not occur: “What was different about that situation?“
Question the objective – You can reframe a problem by clarifying and challenging the objectives of all involved parties. The slow elevator problem shows us an objective change from making the elevator faster to improving the waiting time experience.

References

How to Solve Difficult Problems (25 Lenses)

Written by I. Rosas on July 03, 2021 in Problem-Solving with No comments

"To find better solutions, you need to first ask better questions. The questions you ask determine which solutions you'll see and which will remain hidden. The Invisible Solutions book by Stephen M. Shapiro contains the formulas to reframe any problem in multiple ways, using 25 lenses to help you gain different perspectives." - Amazon.com

Reduce Abstraction

Use Reduce Abstraction Lenses when questions are overly broad.

1 - Leverage:

What is the one factor that will have the greatest impact?
What gives us the greatest leverage in solving this challenge?

2 - Deconstruct:

What are the parts or components of this?
What are the steps of the process?
What are the different segments?

3. Reduce:

How might lowering our goals and expectations give us a better result or create new opportunities for growth?
How can simplification increase usability and accessibility?

4. Eliminate:

How can this be eliminated?
Instead of adding features, what features can you remove?

5. Hyponym:

Is there a more specific instance of a word that can replace the one originally chosen?

Increase Abstraction

When questions are overly specific, use the Increase Abstraction lenses.

6. Analogy:

What is this like?
Who else has solved a problem like this?

7. Result:

What does this make possible?
What is the desired outcome?

8. Concern Reframe:

How can we take a progress-blocking statement and convert it into a question that starts with "How can we...?"

9. Stretch:

Are our challenge criteria stretched enough?
Are we shooting for a high enough goal?

10. Hypernym:

How can we replace a word in the challenge statement with a less specific instance of the one originally chosen?

Change Perspective

Zero-In and the Change Perspective lenses should always be considered.

11. Resequence:

How can we delay a decision until later in the process when we have more or better information?
How can we make a decision earlier in the process, before we have all the necessary information?
How can we perform multiple tasks in parallel?

12. Reassign:

Who else could perform this task?
How can we generalize the question so that it does not imply anyone in particular?
How else might this task be accomplished (e.g. via automation)?

13. Access:

How can we change ownership words to "access" words, such as rent, subscribe, lease, or use?

14. Emotion:

How can we shift from corrective words such as "improve," "fix," or "reduce," to a more aspirational goal?
How can we reframe the challenge in a way that stimulates solvers from an emotional perspective?

15. Substitute:

How can we swap out one or more words in the problem statement for different terms?

Switch Elements

The Switch Elements lenses are useful when there are multiple parameters associated with a problem

16. Flip:

How can we turn the problem upside down by improving a different factor?

17. Conflicts:

How can we design the challenge to allow for and embrace conflicting attributes?

18. Performance Paradox:

What can we focus on other than the outcome?

19. Pain vs Gain:

What is the pain we need to solve?
What might be lost if we don’t solve this problem?

20. Bad Idea:

How can we turn a bad idea into a good one?
What will give you what you don’t want—and then do the opposite?

Zero-In

Zero-In and the Change Perspective lenses should always be considered.

21. Real Problem:

Do we really know the underlying problem we want to solve?
Are we solving the root cause of the problem?

22. Real Business:

What business are we really in?
Who are our real competitors?
What new technology can make us irrelevant?

23. Insights:

What data would help reframe the question or provide insights into better solutions?

24. Variations:

If your question implies that all customers/situations are treated the same, ask, "How can we address exceptions or rare cases in different ways?"

25. Observation:

Instead of asking our customers what they want, how can we observe them?

References

The Five Types of Presentations

Written by I. Rosas on May 08, 2021 in Presentation Framework with No comments

Informational ("What I know…")

Status reports, conference research presentations, issue overviews…this is the most common presentation and inherently the most boring. The presenter is focusing on a simple transaction, transferring information to their audience.

Follow the What->So What->Now What test to make sure you select only the most essential information and keep it relevant to your audience’s needs.

Personal Story ("What I learned…")

Stories help illustrate greater truths, they also humanize concepts in a way that facts and data simply can’t. The best stories provide entertainment on the way to a lesson.

Adhere to the drama triangle, that all stories have tension and there is usually a hero, a victim, and a villain.
The hero needs to be fighting against something in order to ideally benefit the greater good. But, before you go and constantly make yourself the hero of every story, remember humility helps sell lessons learned.

Tribute ("What I admire…")

This approach is inherently emotional since it usually commemorates one of life's big moments: awards, weddings, retirement, and even eulogies. Your job is to make the case for the actions and impact of another, by illustrating how they’ve been special and made a difference.

By and large, be careful not to insert too much of yourself into a tribute.
You are a witness to someone or something's greatness, not the focus.
In fact, one of the nicest and most compelling things you can say about another person is that you could never or could only ever hope to accomplish what they have.

Persuasive ("What I believe...")

In any pitch, you are diagnosing a problem, proposing a solution, and selling the benefits of that solution. There is still a very personal element to that line of thinking, which you can use to your advantage.

Develop your persuasive argument by incorporating the three pillars of persuasion: ethos (personal values), pathos (emotion), and logos (logic).
By mixing each, you can build the strongest act of persuasion possible.

Motivational ("What world I want to live in…")

They are about making people "see the stars" and are built on aspirations. Often, the motivational approach is the opposite of persuasion, because you ask the audience to dream and have faith, not consider numbers, data, or even precedent. Because you have a lot less concrete information to speak from, this approach is the most likely to make use of famous quotations, historical achievements, and "what if" thinking.

A good place to start when planning a motivational talk is by recognizing prevailing thinking and looking for ways to challenge validity.

References

The 5 Types of Presentations

The 3-Minute Rule

Written by I. Rosas on May 01, 2021 in Presentation Framework with No comments

Learning how to structure your presentation effectively so that it concludes all the important and relevant information inside the three minutes, evolution allotted minutes.

The objective is to feed your information and easily comprehensible statements and naturally graspable stages that would allow your audience to format a core understanding of the value of your proposition effectively.

If you want them to see your proposal the way you see your proposal, your audience must conceptualize your idea. Contextualize how it would benefit them, and then actualize it with potential engagement or further interest.

The essence of a successful presentation is to WHACK your story.

WHACK

What is it? (50% or 1 min 30 secs)

What is the most significant need that your product or start-up fills?
What problem does it solve?
What makes it unique?

How does it work? (30% or 1 minute)

Does your presentation explain why the elements of your offer are valuable or important?
Does it explain how your product works or how to achieve your goal?
How can you deliver on your promise?

Are you sure? (15% or 20 seconds)

Is your information backed by a fact or a figure?
Does your presentation prove something?
Has a third party verified your claims?
What have you said that someone might not believe?
These should only back up or verify your offer and should come only after.

Can you do it? (5% or 10 seconds)

What have you done that's similar that proves you can do it?
How have you trained for this?
Do you have the necessary connections?
What are the repercussions of underperformance?

Opening

Why? - Your reason for being.

Tell them how you came to be involved in your idea and how you figured out it was good.
Tell them why you are excited about your idea.

The All-Is-Lost

Create a moment by bringing up a problem that is jeopardizing or might jeopardize the success of your project.
Don't let your audience find a negative out by themselves.

The Hook

It is the one thing or element about your idea that makes your audience go "oh, that's cool".
It comes near the end.

The Edge

It is a story that has a little oomph to it, one that you can justifiably end with.
Find a story and at least for a second, make your audience think "oh, I didn't know that".

The Callback

It is the moment you say "See what I'm talking about?"
It is the moment you repeat the reason for being and verify it.
The callback tells your audience "now you see it too, don't you?"

Example of a Slide Deck

All-Is-Lost. One slide (optional).
The Hook. One slide.
The Edge - One slide (recommended to use one image).
The Callback - No slide (it must be spontaneous for your audience).
Can you do it? - One slide (optional, just explain it).

References

How to Give Feedback

Written by I. Rosas on April 03, 2021 in Feedback, One on One with No comments

Step by Step

Introduce the conversation by asking for a few minutes.

"Is it a good time for the other person to talk?."
"John when you have 5 minutes, I need to talk to you."

State your motive.

Let them know you are speaking because you have their best interests at heart.
"This is a little awkward and may be uncomfortable. I want you to know that while I wish I didn't have to tell you this, I'm doing it because I care about you and I want you to be successful."

Describe the observed behavior.

Picture a specific recent example of what you're referring to.
"John, I've noticed that you have an odor."

Share the impact or result of the behavior.

Explain what happened as a result of the person's action.
"I know this is a very awkward subject (empathize). We work in a small space. I don't want others to avoid working with you or say negative things about you. And as awkward as this is, I would rather you hear this from me than someone else. Sometimes health conditions can cause certain odors, as can eating some foods."

In dialogue, ask the recipient for their perception of the situation.

Ask questions, and have a dialogue.
"What are your thoughts?" or
"What happened?"

Make a suggestion or request for what you'd like the person to do next time.

"I'm very sorry to tell you this. Please make sure you shower every day before coming to work and wash your clothes each time you wear them. And please tell me if there is something else you'd like me to know."

Build an agreement about the next steps.

You can skip it based on the awkwardness of the subject.

Say thank you.

"Thank you for being willing to have this conversation with me."

Preparation

Questions for you to consider answering before a difficult feedback conversation

What's working? What is not working?
What's the most important for this person to know?
What would you like this person to do differently?
What are your requests?
What do you want to say but probably won't?
What would you say first?

When delivering feedback.

Privately (when possible).
Within a week of the incident.
You or the feedback recipient are not upset. If you are upset, wait 24 hours until you are calm.
You have sufficient time for the conversation.
The recipient is not having a day during which everything has gone wrong (personal or professional speaking)
Neither of you goes on vacation the next day.

More than one piece of feedback.

Address each issue individually.

Once you have agreed on the next steps, then repeat the formula.

Give a small amount of feedback. No more than 3 things to work on at one time.

Address those things that still haven't changed.

Statement Examples

When taking responsibility.

"I probably should have said something a long time ago. I'm sorry I didn't. The purpose of this conversation is to ensure you get what you need from me as your manager."

When the behaviors are indirectly observed by another person:

"Mary I appreciate you telling me this. I know you asked me not to share it, and I want to respect your confidentiality. But it's a big deal and I have to pass on the feedback. How can I share the information so that you are comfortable? Do you want to talk to X yourself, I'm sure they will be receptive or Do you want me to talk to them?"
"I can't identify the source of this information, and I know that's frustrating. Typically, if I can't share the source, I don't give feedback. But I think it's important for you to know this. Here is my suggestion, as difficult as this will be: rather than trying to figure out who said what, just alter your behavior. You might also tell the people with whom you work most closely that you got some feedback on ___ and you are working to improve in that area. Tell your coworkers that you would appreciate any feedback they have. Then after you've made some changes, go back to them. Share what you've done differently and ask again for specific feedback."

When asking for their perception:

If you say the wrong thing or the message comes out stronger than you would like, apologize.
If the person is too emotional say:

"I can see this is very upsetting and I'm sorry about that. Why don't we finish this conversation another time?" - when the person is calm, resume the conversation.
"I'm sorry you feel that way."

When making the request, be direct:

"Here is my request, when..., Does it work for you?"

When thanking:

"Thanks for being willing to have this conversation with me. It was hard for me to talk to you about this... But our working relationship matters to me, and I want to feel ..."

Quick Feedback

"(Describe what you observed for feedback). I came across an article the other day that had some good ideas on how to..., Would you like me to make you a copy? or Would you like to hear a few ideas?"
"I'm realizing that when we started working together we never talked about our working-style preferences - our preferred method of communication, desired response time, how we handle questions, and so forth. I think it would be useful to have this conversation. What do you think? Would you like to do that now or schedule another time?"

Requesting Feedback Model

Ask for feedback.

Promise you will say "Thank You" regardless of what the person says.
Don't get defensive even if you think the other person is wrong.

The feedback is true for them
Deal with the other person's experience.
Your opinion of what happened makes no difference.

Tell them

"I've been working on ___"
"I'd really like your feedback"
"I'd specifically like feedback on ___ and ___""
"Here are the opportunities in the next 2 weeks to see me do this (or review this piece of work)"
"Can we schedule a meeting to discuss this?"

Examples

Asking 6 people for feedback:

"What is the first impression I create?."
"What was I like to work with, or what do you think I would be like to work with?."
"If my coworkers were asked to talk about me when I wasn't there, what would they say?."
"How have I exceeded your expectations."
"How have I disappointed you?."

Asking for general feedback.

"We have been working together for a really long time. We see a lot of each other work and I realized that we never talk about it. I think it would be really helpful if we give each other feedback about what's working, and what we might do differently. What do you think? Is it something you'd like to do?"

Ask for specific feedback.

"I have been working very hard to strengthen my skills on X subject. Would you be willing to watch me in X's situation and give me some feedback? I'd really appreciate your insights. In fact, I'd really like more feedback in general. If you be willing to bring things to my attention that get in the way of my success, I'd really appreciate it. I promise to be receptive and say thank you. Would you be comfortable doing that?"

Asking for feedback from the direct supervisor.

"I got some feedback on ___. I respect your judgment and I would like to hear your impressions. Would you be willing to watch for this behavior over the next two weeks? Then perhaps we can set a time to discuss your observations. Would that be okay?"

Asking others to pass the Feedback

Ask the other to talk.
State why you want the other person to pass the feedback.
Describe the behavior.
Make a suggestion or request
Volunteer to help (optionally)

Examples

"Steve, I need to talk to you offline. I know you have a good relationship with X, and I'm wondering if you run little interference. I've noticed that ___, Would be willing to talk to him and how to improve on ___."

References

The Feedback Formula – Give Feedback in Two Minutes or Less.

How to Express Gratitude

Written by I. Rosas on March 27, 2021 in Appreciation, Nonviolent Communication with No comments

Based on Positive Moralistic Judgments, people often say: "You did a good job on that paper", "You are a very kind person", and "You are a good dancer" and that's Jackal Language. It's intended to reward, people's behavior with the purpose to reinforce something to the person to continue doing. It works only until people see the manipulation and it's equally dangerous that people won't trust gratitude anymore.

How to Give Gratitude

Using the NVC Model, you can say something like:

"When you did/said X, Y..., it leaves me feeling Z (e.g. hopeful and relieved). It meets a need of mine for A..."

How to Receive Gratitude

According to Dr. Rosemberg, there is zero information value in being told what you are and there is a great danger to you in believing it. It's better to help the other person to fully express themself:

[O] "Thank you/You are a good/intelligent/..."
[Y] "What did I do or say to make life more wonderful for you?"
[O] "You said/did..."
[Y] "Can you tell me how you feel now as a result of me having done/saying those X things?"
[O]: E.g., "Hopefull and relieved"
[Y]: "What need of you was fulfilled by me saying what I did that leaves you feeling 'hopeful and relieved'"
[O]: "...my need for connection"

The Conference

Scenarios Covered

How to say thank you.
How to express appreciation.
How to give feedback.
How to receive feedback.

References

Nonviolent Communication (post)
Feelings and Needs (post)

Faux Feelings

Written by I. Rosas on March 21, 2021 in Feelings and Needs, Nonviolent Communication with No comments

When somebody says: "I’m feeling rejected", in nonviolent communication you might empathically translate this as: "Are you feeling scared because you would really like to be included?". These words imply that someone is doing something to you and generally connote wrongness or blame - Narrative Pathways.com

Jackal Word to Giraffe Feeling(s), and Need(s)

Abandoned: Terrified, hurt, bewildered, sad, frightened, lonely.

Need for: Nurturing, connection, belonging, support, caring.

Abused: Angry, frustrated, frightened.

Need for: Caring, nurturing, support, emotional or physical well-being, consideration, need for all living things to flourish

[Not] Accepted: Scared, lonely, hurt, anxious.

Need for: Inclusion, connection, community, belonging, contribution, peer respect.

Attacked: Scared, angry, defiant, hostile.

Need for: Safety, consideration.

Belittled: Angry, frustrated, tense, distressed.

Need for: Respect, autonomy, to be seen, acknowledgment, appreciation.

Betrayed: Angry, hurt, disappointed, enraged.

Need for: Trust, dependability, honesty, honor, commitment, clarity.

Blamed: Angry, scared, confused, antagonistic, hostile, bewildered, hurt.

Need for: Accountability, causality, fairness, and justice.

Bullied: Angry, scared, pressured Autonomy, choice, safety, consideration.
Caged/Boxed-in: Angry, thwarted, scared, anxious.

Need for: Autonomy, choice, freedom.

Cheated: Resentful, hurt, angry.

Need for: Honesty, fairness, justice, trust, reliability.

Coerced: Angry, frustrated, frightened, thwarted, scared.

Need for: Choice, autonomy, freedom, act freely, choose freely.

Cornered: Angry, scared, anxious, thwarted.

Need for: Autonomy, freedom.

Criticized: In pain, scared, anxious, frustrated, humiliated, angry, embarrassed.

Need for: Understanding, acknowledgment, recognition, accountability, and respectful communication.

Discounted/Diminished: Hurt, angry, embarrassed, frustrated.

Need to matter, acknowledgment, inclusion, friendship, inclusion.

Disliked*. Sad, lonely, hurt.

Need for: Connection, appreciation, understanding, acknowledgment, friendship, inclusion

Distrust. Sad, frustrated.

Need for: Trust, honesty.

Dumped on. Angry, overwhelmed.

Need for: Respect, consideration.

Harassed. Angry, frustrated, pressured, frightened.

Need for: Respect, space, consideration, peace.

Hassled. Irritated, distressed, angry, frustrated.

Need for: Serenity, autonomy, to do things at my own pace in my own calm way, calm, space.

Ignored. Lonely, scared, hurt, sad, embarrassed.

Need for: Connection, belonging, inclusion, community, participation.

Insulted. Angry, embarrassed.

Respect, consideration, acknowledgment.

Interrupted. Angry, frustrated, resentful, hurt.

Need for: Respect, to be heard, consideration.

Intimidated. Scared, anxious.

Need for: Safety, equality, empowerment.

Invalidated. Angry, hurt, resentful.

Need for: Appreciation, respect, acknowledgment, recognition.

Invisible. Sad, angry, lonely, scared.

Need for: To be seen and heard, included, belong, community.

Isolated. Lonely, afraid, scared.

Community, inclusion, belonging, contribution.

Left out. Sad, lonely, anxious.

Need for: Inclusion, belonging, community, connection.

Let down. Sad, disappointed, frightened.

Need for: Consistency, trust, dependability.

Manipulated. Angry, scared, powerless, thwarted, frustrated.

Need for: Autonomy, empowerment, trust, equality, freedom, free choice, connection, genuineness.

Mistrusted. Sad, angry.

Need for: Trust.

Misunderstood. Upset, angry, frustrated.

To be heard, understood, clarity.

Neglected: Lonely, scared.

Need for: Connection, inclusion, participation, community, to be cared for, matter, consideration.

Overpowered. Angry, impotent, helpless, confused.

Need for: Equality, justice, autonomy, freedom.

Overworked. Angry, tired, frustrated.

Need for: Respect, consideration, rest, caring.

Patronized. Angry, frustrated, resentful.

Need for: Recognition, equality, respect, mutuality.

Pressured: Anxious, resentful, overwhelmed.

Need for: Relaxation, clarity, space, consideration.

Provoked. Angry, frustrated hostile, antagonistic, resentful.

Need for: Respect, consideration.

Put down. Angry, sad, embarrassed.

Need for: Respect, acknowledgment, and understanding.

Rejected. Hurt, scared, angry, and defiant.

Belonging, inclusion, closeness, being seen, acknowledgment, and connection.

Ripped off/Screwed. Anger, resentment, disappointment.

Need for: Consideration, justice, acknowledgment, trust.

Smothered/suffocated: Frustrated, desperate, fearful.

Need for: Space, freedom, autonomy, authenticity, self-expression.

Taken for granted. Sad, angry, hurt, disappointed.

Need for: Appreciation, acknowledgment, recognition, consideration.

Threatened. Scared, frightened, alarmed, agitated, defiant.

Need for: Safety, autonomy.

Trampled. Angry, frustrated, overwhelmed.

Need for: Empowerment, connection, community, being seen, consideration, equality, respect, acknowledgment.

Tricked. Embarrassed, angry, resentful.

Need for: Integrity, trust, honesty.

Unappreciated. Sad, angry, hurt, frustrated.

Need for: Appreciation, respect, acknowledgment, consideration.

Unheard. Sad, hostile, frustrated.

Need for: Love, appreciation, empathy, connection, community.

Unloved*. Sad, bewildered, frustrated.

Need for: Love, appreciation, empathy, connection, community.

Unseen. Sad, anxious, frustrated.

Need for: Acknowledgment, appreciation, being heard.

Unsupported. Sad, hurt, resentful.

Need for: Support, understanding.

Unwanted. Sad, anxious, frustrated.

Need for: Belonging, inclusion, caring.

Used. Sad, angry, resentful.

Need for: Autonomy, equality, consideration, and mutuality.

Victimized. Frightened, helpless.

Need for: Empowerment, mutuality, safety, justice.

Violated*. Sad, agitated, anxious.

Need for: Privacy, safety, trust, space, respect.

Wronged*. Angry, hurt, resentful, irritated.

Need for: Respect, justice, trust, safety, fairness.

References

Feelings and Needs

Written by I. Rosas on March 20, 2021 in Feelings and Needs, Nonviolent Communication with No comments

1. Feelings Associated With Met Needs

AFFECTIONATE. Compassionate, fond, loving, openhearted, tender, warm.
ENGAGED. Absorbed, curious, engrossed, enchanted, enthralled, entranced, fascinated, interested, intrigued, involved, open, spellbound, stimulated.
EXCITED. Amazed, ardent, aroused, dazzled, energetic, enlivened, enthusiastic, exuberant, invigorated, lively, passionate, surprised, vibrant.
EXHILARATED. Enthralled, radiant, electrified, euphoric, overjoyed, thrilled.
GRATEFUL. Appreciative, moved, thankful, and touched.
HAPPY. Amused, blissful, cheerful, delighted, ecstatic, elated, giddy, glad, jolly, joyful, jubilant, merry, overjoyed, pleased, rapturous, tickled.
HOPEFUL. Confident, expectant, jazzed, lighthearted, sanguine, up, upbeat.
INSPIRED. Amazed, eager, enthused, motivated, moved, psyched, stimulated, stirred, wonder
PEACEFUL. Calm, comfortable, centered, content, equanimity, fulfilled, mellow, open, quiet, relaxed, relieved, satisfied, serene, tranquil.
REFRESHED. Recharged, rejuvenated, renewed, rested, restored, revived.

2. Feelings Associated With Unmet Needs

ANGER. Aggravated, angry, animosity, annoyed, contempt, disgruntled, enraged, exasperated, furious, hate, hostile, incensed, irate, irritated, irked, livid, miffed, nettled, outraged, peeved, resentful.
AVERSION. Abhorrence, appalled, bothered, displeased, disgusted. dislike. enmity. horrified. loathing. repulsion, revulsion.
CONFUSION. Ambivalent, baffled, bewildered, conflicted, dazed, discombobulated, disoriented, mixed, mystified, perplexed, puzzled, torn.
DISCONNECTION. Apathetic, bored, closed, detached, distant, indifferent, listless, numb, withdrawn.
DISQUIET. Agitated, alarmed, concerned, distraught, disconcerted, dismayed, disturbed, frustrated, perturbed. rattled, restless, shocked, startled, surprised, troubled, turbulent, turmoil, uncomfortable, uneasy, unnerved, unsettled, upset.
EMBARRASSMENT. Ashamed, chagrined, discomfited, flustered, mortified, self-conscious.
FATIGUE. Beat, burnt out, depleted, exhausted, listless, pooped, sleepy, tired, weary, wiped out, worn out.
FEAR. Afraid, anxious, apprehensive, dread, fearful, foreboding, frightened, guarded, insecure, leery, mistrustful, panicked, petrified, scared, shaky, terrified, trepidation, wary, worried.
PAIN. Aching, agony, anguished, devastated, grief, heartbroken, hungry, hurting, lonely, miserable, regretful, remorseful.
SADNESS. Depressed, dejected, despairing, despondent, disappointed, discouraged, disheartened, forlorn, gloomy, heavy-hearted, hopeless, melancholy, miserable, unhappy, wistful.
TENSION. Anxious, closed, distressed, edgy, fidgety, frazzled, frustrated, jittery, nervous, overwhelmed, restless, stressed out.
YEARNING. Longing, nostalgic, pining.

3. Needs and Values

AUTONOMY. Choice, dignity, freedom, independence, self-expression, space, and spontaneity.
CONNECTION. Acceptance, affection, appreciation, authenticity, belonging, care, closeness, communication, communion, community, companionship, compassion, consideration, empathy, friendship, inclusion, inspiration, integrity, intimacy, love, mutuality, nurturing, partnership, presence, respect/self-respect, security, self-acceptance, self-care, self-connection, self-expression, shared reality, stability, support, to know and be known, to see and be seen, trust, understanding, warmth.
MEANING. Awareness, celebration, challenge, clarity, competence, consciousness, contribution, creativity, discovery, efficiency, effectiveness, growth, integration, integrity, learning, mourning, movement, participation, perspective, presence, progress, purpose, self-expression, stimulation, and understanding.
PEACE. Acceptance, balance, beauty, communion, ease, equanimity, faith, harmony, hope, order, peace of mind, and space.
PHYSICAL WELL-BEING. Air, care, comfort, food, movement/exercise, rest/sleep, safety (physical), self-care, sexual expression, shelter, touch, water.
PLAY. Adventure, excitement, fun, humor, joy, relaxation, stimulation.

References

Universal Human Feelings & Needs (online PDF)

The Feelings Wheel

Written by I. Rosas on March 13, 2021 in Feelings and Needs with No comments

References

Ten steps to improve your Emotional Self-Awareness using the Feelings Wheel (drkenmcgill.com)

The Nonviolent Communication

Written by I. Rosas on March 06, 2021 in Coming Soon, Nonviolent Communication with No comments

Reference

How to Express Appreciation

Written by I. Rosas on February 13, 2021 in Appreciation with No comments

"At work, people express and receive appreciation in different ways. If you try to express appreciation in ways that aren’t meaningful to your co-workers, they may not feel valued at all. This is because you and your co-workers are speaking different languages. In The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace, you will identify the five languages of appreciation in order to express genuine appreciation to co-workers and staff" - Amazon.com.

Five Appreciation Languages at Work

Words of Affirmation. Using words to communicate a positive message to another person.

One on One.
In front of others (if they feel comfortable).
Written email.

Quality Time: Giving the person your focused attention.

Eye contact, no distractions.
Listen to feelings and thoughts.

Acts of Service: Providing assistance.

Ask before you help.
Check your attitude.
Do it their way.
Complete what you start

Or let to know in advance how much time you have and let them decide.

Tangible Gifts: Giving physical items.

Give gifts to those who appreciate them.
Gifts must be something the person values.
Can be time off
The most common is food

Physical Touch: Person-to-person contact.

Handshakes.
High fives.
Fist bumps.
Brief hugs (especially in emotional times).

Ideas for Application

Language 1. Words of Affirmation

Acknowledge my effort on a project I am in / but not in the presence of my teammates.
When appropriate, I'd like to be recognized in front of others for work well done.
Praise me in private, not in front of anyone else.
Occasionally tell me “thanks” – in person – for my contribution.
Send me an email to let me know what I am doing well.
Recognize when I have handled a difficult situation.
Tell others (when I am not around) about the good job I am doing.
Give me a specific compliment about some aspect of my character or personality.
In my review, make a list of positives regarding how I am doing.
Give our team a group compliment when we have done well.
Let my colleagues know when I have achieved significant goals or completed important tasks.
A handwritten note of appreciation is particularly meaningful to me.
Other ___.

Language 2. Quality Time

Go to coffee or lunch together to talk about work issues.
Go to coffee or lunch together and not talk about work issues.
Go to lunch together as a team of colleagues.
Stop by in person to check in with me regarding how things are going.
Call me occasionally to "check in" to see how I am doing.
Get together for occasional after-hours team events.
Take a walk together if feasible, rather than meet in the office.
Take part in an out-of-the-office event/retreat for our team.
Have a regular (e.g., weekly) “check-in” meeting to catch up.
Other ___.

Language 3. Acts of Service

Stay after hours to help me complete a project.
Ask me what you could do to help me (and then follow through).
Offer to do some routine tasks that will allow me to focus on higher priorities.
Offer to do some task for me that I dislike doing.
Stop by and work with me on a project I need to complete.
Help me clean up / organize my office or desk.
Review/edit a written document for me.
Offer to be a backup for me when I’m on leave or out sick.
Help me understand how to get the most out of my technology tools.
Come in early to help me get something done.
Other ___.

Language 4. Tangible Gifts

Take me to lunch as a gesture of appreciation.
Give a small gift card to my favorite place, which is ___.
Bring my favorite coffee / hot beverage/snack / ___.
Find a book or magazine related to my interests or area of expertise, such as ___.
Bring in cake, cookies, or snacks to celebrate!
Bring something from an interesting place you’ve been to.
Give, as a token of appreciation:

An Agency Challenge Coin
A Time-Off award
Agency lanyards, pens, or coffee mugs
Commemorative pins/patches/posters

Other ___.

Language 5. Physical Touch

Handshakes.
High fives.
Fist bumps.
Brief hugs (especially in emotional times).
Be careful to avoid misunderstandings.

Resources

References

Appreciation At Work (Official Website)

How to Apologize

Written by I. Rosas on February 06, 2021 in Appology with No comments

"I said I was sorry! What more do you want? Even in the best of relationships, we mess up. We say and do things we deeply regret later on. So we need to make things right. But just saying you’re sorry isn’t enough. That’s only the first step on the road to restoration. In The 5 Apology Languages, Gary Chapman partners with Jennifer Thomas to help you on the journey toward restored relationships" - Amazon.com

True healing comes when you learn to:

Express regret: "I'm sorry"
Accept responsibility: "I was wrong"
Make restitution: "How can I make it right"
Plan for change: "I'll take steps to prevent a reoccurrence"
Request forgiveness: "Can you find it in your heart to . . . ?"

The Conference

1. Expressing Regret

"I know now that I hurt you very deeply. That caused me deep pain. I am very sorry for what I did"
"You were promised a service that we have not provided. I am sorry our Company clearly dropped the ball this time"
"I obviously was not thinking very well. I never meant to hurt you, but I can see my words were way out of line. I'm sorry that I was not so insensitive"
"I feel really bad, I disappointed you. I should have been more thoughtful. I'm sorry I caused so much pain"

2. Accepting Responsibility

"I made a big mistake. I wasn't thinking at that time. But looking back, that was a problem. I wish I had thought before I acted. I was wrong"
"I spoke out of anger, trying to justify myself, but it was unkind and untrue. I was wrong"
"I repeated a mistake that we've discussed before. I messed up. I know it was my fault"

3. Restitution

"Is there anything that I can do to make up for what I have done?"
"Just saying "I'm sorry" doesn't seem right. I want to make it up somehow; what would you consider appropriate?"
"I've broken this promise again; would it help if O put my commitment in writing?"
"I damage your honor. Can I make a public correction in some way?"

4. Genuine Repentance

"How could I say that in a different way than you would not come across as critical?"
"I know my behavior was painful to you, and I do not want to cause pain. I am open to any ideas you may have for me"
"I let you down again. What would it take for you to rebuild your trust in me?"

5. Requesting forgiveness

"I know what I did hurt you very deeply. You have every right never to speak to me again, but I am truly sorry for what I did. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me"
"I am sorry for the way I spoke. You didn't deserve that. It was wrong of me. I am asking you to forgive me"

Resources

SlideShare

References

Book "The 5 Apology Languages"